Guide the conflict without solving it all
Children can practise words and choices while an adult keeps everyone safe.
At four, children may understand a rule but still struggle when two people want the same thing. Begin by stopping unsafe actions and naming the problem without shame. Once bodies are calmer, help each child say what they need and choose a workable next step. Repair matters more than a forced apology.
You can try
- State the limit and the problem in one calm sentence.
- Give each child a turn to show or say what they wanted.
- Offer two workable solutions and help them carry out the chosen one.
Reviewed sources
BabyBright, on your phone too
Keep observations, routines and memories in one place. Use BabyBright in your browser or download the app for everyday moments.
Clear limits, small choices
Make everyday expectations easier for your toddler to understand.
Read guide
Afraid of the dark at ages 2–5: how to help
A gentle nightlight, a familiar routine and listening can make bedtime feel easier.
Read guide